Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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