I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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