I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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