i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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