the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
now i know why i became what i already was.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
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I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
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I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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