Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize