my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize