I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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