He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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