I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
If that was your dad, he is hot
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Panties = found
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize