I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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