the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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