My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
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I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
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He's a Shit stain on my heart
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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