I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
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He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
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There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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