You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
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there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
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You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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