Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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