The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize