I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
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