Your mouth is God's brothel.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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