Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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