the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
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Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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