i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
my poor anus
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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