either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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