My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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