I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
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i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
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Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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