Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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