you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize