its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Sorry about my life...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize