i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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