youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Sorry my hands just texted you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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