Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
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im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
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WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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