Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize