I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize