Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize