but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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