Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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