I like to think it a success when the cops are called
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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