So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
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i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
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I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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