Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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