dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
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im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
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I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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