hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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