my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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