Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
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high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
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Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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