There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize