i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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