why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
How naked do you want me to be?
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