Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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