I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize