Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
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"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
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Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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