I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize